The Hypocrisy of Users

I hate hypocrisy.  Sadly, we are all a hypocrite at one time or another.  It doesn't make it right or acceptable.  I think the most reprehensible hypocrisy comes from people who pretend to be a Christian, but have absolutely no desire to live as one.  These people want to claim the respect that comes to a Christian, but don't want to make the hard choices that come to every believer.  Hard choices are things like remaining pure, admitting mistakes, seeking forgiveness from those we've wronged, and not using people for our personal benefit.  Hard choices are forgiving people who have committed heinous wrongs and seeking to glorify God rather than selfish ambition. 

Sadly these hypocrites will often use Christian friends taking advantage of the forgiveness and generosity that comes from following Christ's example.  They even use scripture to manipulate people to follow their ideas.  Some even claim noble reasons for their reprehensible behavior like the selfish Scarlet O'Hara, who didn't care who she hurt as long as she got what she wanted.  These hypocrits then become angry when their actions cause them to lose the friendship of the Christian friend.  However, the Bible says not to cast your pearls before swine.  The friendship must be dissolved.  That too is a hard thing to do.

Just the other day, a young woman asked me why some people use others.  I told her that sadly this is a sinful world and that some people care only for themselves.  A user does not care about the well-being or feelings of the person being used.   The only thing left is to stay away from this person.  It is also important to realize this person will become bitter and petty in all his/her dealings with or about you from then on.  They may even punish other people just for having a connection with you. 

This kind of behavior should not surprise you.  Instead, you should in all ways stay above reproach.  Speak no unkind words about this person, do not gossip about this person even when they gossip about you, and do not let this person draw you back in by trying to create arguments.  It takes two to fight.  Refuse to take the bait even when they make up lies that hurt your honor.  In the end, people will see how uprightly you have handled yourself while also seeing the pettiness of the other.  Inevitably, the user digs his/her own pit from which they cannot get out without swallowing his/her pride, just like Scarlet left alone with her precious Tara having lost the truly precious things in her life:  her husband, daughter, friends and family.

If you find that you've been the user, it may be difficult to swallow your pride and ask forgiveness.  However, it can make all the difference in your life.  Asking for and receiving forgiveness for wrongs is cleansing to the soul and shows an integrity that people admire.