Family

My husband and nephew

Family is so important.  None of us were meant to walk this earth alone.  After God created Adam, God said that it was not good for man to be alone and so God created Eve.  He created the first marriage - a man and a woman who then went on to have children.  God's plan was for us to have a family whether it is  family by birth or a family by heart.

I am blessed to have both a family by birth and by heart.  I have not always fit in with my birth family though I love them dearly.  I also have spent most of my life living far away from them (I'm excited that most of them are moving closer in a few weeks).  But God has blessed with me with a family of the heart.  My family of the heart consists of two moms, Mrs. Ann and Momma Shirley; a dad, Papa Bull; sisters and brothers, you all know who you are; and lots of nieces and nephews.  This family of choice has held me up in the hard times, encouraged me through the difficult times, laughed, and cried with me. 

When I was young I didn't think I needed anyone, now I know better.  The only thing that matters after you leave this world is the effect you had on the lives of the people God has put you in contact with.  As I spent time with my precious nephews this week, I was reminded how quickly they are growing up.  Time is passing so fast.  The time we have with our family is limited.  Make sure the busyness of life and the lies of this world don't steal from you that which is most important.

Nieces and Nephews

To my nieces and nephews,

I love you all dearly.  Many of you are in your teen years or older.  I'm sure you're not looking for any advice, but I want to be sure that I share two things with you.  These are the most important things for your future happiness.

The first thing I want to share with you is Jesus Christ.  Most of you know me (I'm sorry that I've not had the privilege to be in all of your lives) and know that I do my best to always tell the truth no matter how difficult it is.  Well, the truth is that God is real.  He exists and the world doesn't want you to believe in Him.  Or if they are okay with believing in Him, they want to water it down and tell you that He is just one of many viable options.  Or they try to make you think that being outspoken about God is being prejudice.  These are all lies.  There is only one true God.  He loves you.

He loves you more than your parents or I could ever love you.  And hopefully you know that your parents and I would happily give our lives for you.  God doesn't just say this, He proved it.  Because we are all sinners.  Be honest - you know you've done something wrong or thought something bad at least once in your life.  (I know none of you are angels.)  These bad things are sin.  You don't bring prisoners to dine with the Queen or the President.  You don't bring sinners into the presence of the one true God.  So how can a loving God unite Himself with His sinful children.  Well, sins have to be paid for - kind of like fines.  The penalty for sin is death.  We all will die physically one day.  However, that is just our body.  Our spirit, who we truly are, is already dead because of sin.  So once we die, we will not be able to enter the presence of God.

Wow, Aunt Bonnie, how sad.  Now what?  Well, God came up with a plan, a way to pay the penalty for everyone at once.  He sent His son Jesus to be born of a virgin and live a perfect sinless life.  And then after healing and teaching the people of Israel, Christ was beaten, tortured, and then nailed to a cross.  He died on the Cross and then went on to defeat sin and the grave.  Yay!  So now we don't have to die.  His death paid the price for all of our sins.  But you have to know Jesus Christ.  You have to seek him out.  You have to believe.  If you do this, then He will move in your life through the Holy Spirit to cause you to make different (better) life choices.  He will guide you and see you through every trial as you seek to live life the way He has commanded.  Those who don't believe will not be reunited with God, not because of their sins, but because they chose not to have faith in God.  This has been  the key to my life.  I have not always followed well, but I have always and will always follow God.  I hope you do too.


The second thing I hope you know is to respect yourself.  God wants you to have the best, but often times we settle for what we want right now.  I encourage each of you to graduate high school, go to college, and then start families.  In that order.  I also encourage you to wait until you are married to have sex.  God created sex to be a wonderful and special thing between a husband and wife.  You will never experience the joy that God has planned for you if you take what was consecrated to be a special union and make it common place by having multiple partners and by having sex outside the bonds of marriage.  Respect and love yourself enough to give yourself the best.

If you learn those two things (love God and love yourself), then I know your life will be successful.

All my love,
Aunt Bonnie

2011 Doomsdayers

Wow!  Everywhere there seems to be a lot of people predicting the end of the world.  Animals are dying - end of the world!  A video has a flare (or has been doctored) - end of the world!  Comets are flying by the earth - end of the world! The Mayan calendar ends in 2012  - END OF THE WORLD!!!  Aaaaahhhhhhhh!

It figures the world would end on a great year.  I have the perfect job, husband, family, and friends.  Everything is working my way - so it would figure that world is going to end.  LOL!

Honestly, as a Christian, I know that one day this heaven and earth will pass away.  They will be destroyed, but I have no reason to fear this.  I believe in Jesus Christ, the son of God, who lived a perfect life and gave His life as a sacrifice to ransom the souls of those who believe in Him.   I believe in His life, death, and resurrection.  I believe the Bible is entirely true and that Jesus, who has kept all of His promises, will one day return to the earth.  He also promised that those who believe will not be left alone in this world because they have the Holy Spirit to comfort them.  And I am comforted.

I am, therefore, not worried or defeated by the things this world and the people in it throw my way.  I am  not going to become paranoid or stressed over words or manufactured drama.   Instead, I move on with my life enjoying every wonderful positive thing and person it, from my family (by birth and by choice) and friends to awesome Bible studies that encourage personal and spiritual growth. 

If you are worried about the end of the world, ask yourself what it is that worries you?  Is it not knowing what will happen to you should the world end?  Would you like to have the assurance that you can live eternally with the one who shaped the universe?  God makes it simple to have that assurance.  Believe in Jesus Christ and you will be saved.  For more information, I encourage you to read the book of John and to visit a local Christian church.

Anything to Get Attention

Some people will do anything to get attention whether good or bad.  I had the fortune to work with a young woman tonight who was dealing with a false friend.  Now that she's cut her friend out of her life because of the drama the friend brings, the friend is making up things and trying to starts fights and drama just to get attention.  I walked her through the process of non-response.  It's very difficult to not respond to people who are ugly, but inevitably by ignoring or not rising to the bait, this girl saves herself lots of drama and the friend is left in her own ugly world to deal with her mess herself. (If you can look at things objectively, the actions of this kind of person are almost always hilarious.)  If you find yourself in this situation, I tell you the same thing I told this young woman.  Block the phone numbers, email, Facebook, etc.  If you can't receive the messages, they can't bother you.

It's difficult to get away from some people, but when people are detrimental to your life, it is the right thing to do.  The right thing is often hard to do, but the rewards are great.  And remember, for those who have put their faith in Christ, you are never alone.

The Hypocrisy of Users

I hate hypocrisy.  Sadly, we are all a hypocrite at one time or another.  It doesn't make it right or acceptable.  I think the most reprehensible hypocrisy comes from people who pretend to be a Christian, but have absolutely no desire to live as one.  These people want to claim the respect that comes to a Christian, but don't want to make the hard choices that come to every believer.  Hard choices are things like remaining pure, admitting mistakes, seeking forgiveness from those we've wronged, and not using people for our personal benefit.  Hard choices are forgiving people who have committed heinous wrongs and seeking to glorify God rather than selfish ambition. 

Sadly these hypocrites will often use Christian friends taking advantage of the forgiveness and generosity that comes from following Christ's example.  They even use scripture to manipulate people to follow their ideas.  Some even claim noble reasons for their reprehensible behavior like the selfish Scarlet O'Hara, who didn't care who she hurt as long as she got what she wanted.  These hypocrits then become angry when their actions cause them to lose the friendship of the Christian friend.  However, the Bible says not to cast your pearls before swine.  The friendship must be dissolved.  That too is a hard thing to do.

Just the other day, a young woman asked me why some people use others.  I told her that sadly this is a sinful world and that some people care only for themselves.  A user does not care about the well-being or feelings of the person being used.   The only thing left is to stay away from this person.  It is also important to realize this person will become bitter and petty in all his/her dealings with or about you from then on.  They may even punish other people just for having a connection with you. 

This kind of behavior should not surprise you.  Instead, you should in all ways stay above reproach.  Speak no unkind words about this person, do not gossip about this person even when they gossip about you, and do not let this person draw you back in by trying to create arguments.  It takes two to fight.  Refuse to take the bait even when they make up lies that hurt your honor.  In the end, people will see how uprightly you have handled yourself while also seeing the pettiness of the other.  Inevitably, the user digs his/her own pit from which they cannot get out without swallowing his/her pride, just like Scarlet left alone with her precious Tara having lost the truly precious things in her life:  her husband, daughter, friends and family.

If you find that you've been the user, it may be difficult to swallow your pride and ask forgiveness.  However, it can make all the difference in your life.  Asking for and receiving forgiveness for wrongs is cleansing to the soul and shows an integrity that people admire. 

Commercials Gone Wild

Are any of you offended by the commercials today? No aspect of a person's life is sacred now and children are introduced to mature ideas way to early. Subtlety is gone, and in-your-face selfishness is rampant. The instigator of my current rant is the Beyaz birth control commercial. The commercial consists of women wandering through a store of all the things they could want in life: significant others (heaven forbid we say husband), homes, and trips. The one thing it makes sure to let us know is that children are not wanted and it seems to imply that they would actually get in the way of the things that are wanted. So of course, the only answer to this is to buy their birth control. With Beyaz, you can have everything you want without any little "problems," and you get clear skin - bonus! "You know what you want today, but you never know what you might want tomorrow." That's right! Sex today and no consequences to mess up what you want for tomorrow - SELFISH!

This commercial seems to imply that birth control is one step toward attaining the perfect life you want. It's a lie. Birth control's only purpose is to prevent one from getting pregnant (I'll grant exceptions to those with severe feminine issues that are resolved by managing hormones through birth control pills.) It does not get you the great job; training and hard work get you that. It doesn't get you a great vacation; planning and saving get you that. It doesn't get you a great husband; wisdom, time, and God's blessing get you that.

Single women, if you don't want to have children, stop having sex. These birth control people just want to make money off of you. If they could sell abstinence, they would. But sex sells and abstinence doesn't, and so today's commercials just get wilder and wilder.